DATELINE New Orleans, LA (from The New Bark Times)
Dopeycrats Declare Victory!
Party faithful tire of waiting for others to decide
| November 10, 2000 -- Dopeycrat have had a historic
impact on the 2000 presidential election. Why else hasn't a winner been decided?
Consequently, Dopeycrat Presidential Candidate Augie NotAFoster today declared
himself the winner and announced plans for creating a transition team. When asked about the legitimacy of his party's assumption of power, the presidential candidate referred reporters to Cajun Fletch Chapoton, who has been put in charge of the transition team.
He answered reporters' queries, saying "Why there's nothing going on in Florida that we didn't do here in Louisiana long ago. Cajuns know all about crooked politics. Why darlin', we invented the idea. Everything's under control. Under my control. Dopeycrats are winning the ballot recount." With the election over and the Dopey vote safely in the Dopeycrat column, rumors that da Moose will be asked to step aside are now inevitable. The appointment of Cajun Fletch Chapoton to direct the transition team because of da Moose's incompetence will only fuel that fire. Pwincess Garbo seemed annoyed at the press coverage and abruptly disappeared inside, saying "I vant to be alone."
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Chapoton, often rumored to be one of Dopeycrat VP Moose's love obsessions,
was visiting a stylish French Quarter courtyard in the company of Pwincess Gorgeous
Greta Garbo (both pictured at left). Chapoton was relaxed and easygoing. He
professed to be completely confident about the election's outcome.
Propaganda courtesy of the Dopeycrat 2000 campaign.
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