DATELINE Des Moines, IA (from The Des Moines De-Register)

Dopeycrats Victorious

Long forgotten party wins single delegate in Iowa caucus

January 19, 2004 -- Political observers were stunned tonight as word emerged that the Dopeycrats apparently won a delegate in the hard-fought Iowa caucus.  After running a disastrous and scandal-ridden 2000 presidential campaign, the party was thought to be extinct. As a matter of fact, most people didn't even know they were running again in 2004, but after a covert campaign, the Dopeycrats emerged claiming victory in an Iowa caucus. 

According to delegate Clara Fleebleflobber, the Dopeycrats are "everything I always liked in a party." She added, "Besides which, I think their candidate is really really smart."  

With this decisive win in Iowa, the shameless Dopeycrats are now focusing their attention on Vermont, saying that momentum is on their side.  Democratic party operatives were said to be unaware of the Dopeycrat incursion.

Green Mountain State, you've been warned.

Propaganda courtesy of the Dopeycrat 2004 campaign.