Augie Defends Running Mate - Yet Again

September 16, 2000 -- Presidential hopeful Augie NotAFoster emerged today from the confines of Greenville Memorial Hospital, where he has been busy saving his Grandma from the clutches of the Grim Reaper for nearly two weeks.  On the sidewalk outside, the Dopeycrat standard bearer had his first public comments on the just-released photos of his running mate allegedly cavorting with his monkey. "This Monkey Business has got to stop! It is just like those OTHER candidates to take an innocent photo of Da Moose with a monkey on his back and try to use it as the centerpiece of a smear campaign. I have complete and steadfast confidence in the integrity of my running-mate. I am certain that he has a VERY good explanation for his behavior ... and I will not dignify the matter with further comment."

Several reporters in the crowd were heard to snicker, "Moose.  Integrity.  Yeah, that's a good one."