Elvis Sighting at Illinois Waddle!

September 19, 2000 -- Despite the now famous pictures of VP Candidate Moose playing with his monkey recently puplished in The National Extorter, most Mooseketeers around the world continue to rally to cheer their leader.  One Dopeycrat supporter and Mooseketeer member, Elvis Hutchins, was sighted at the Illinois Waddle this past weekend.  He was scheduled to speak to the Dopeycrats assembled there, but left his audience waiting while he endorsed each and every tree in the area.

Said to be a leading candidate for heading up the Forestry Service, Elvis' affinity for trees is somewhat suspect.  Early in life, Elvis enjoyed playing chase with basset sister Mollye and had little regard for trees one way or another.   However, one fateful day he had a disastrous collision that forever changed his life.  Turning his head to see if Mollye was still chasing him, Elvis was assaulted by a red oak tree as he ran full tilt into it.  Elvis has had an obsession about trees ever since, declaring, "No tree shall go unmarked!"  In addition, that BONK on his head is said to have permanently impaired his judgement, likely accounting for his unwavering loyalty to the Mooseketeer leader. 

After waiting well over an hour for Elvis to complete his rounds, the crowd dispersed without hearing his argument for supporting the Dopeycrat candidate.   And Elvis hardly seemed to notice.