DATELINE Williamson, NY (from Rochester Dopeycrat and Chronicle)
He's Baaaacck!
But Press Release doesn't fully explain Augie's absence
| October 16, 2000 -- At today's Dopeycrat press
conference, acting Spokesbasset Wrinkles Burlew was nowhere to be seen. The reticent
Burlew was pressed into service last week for Spokesbasset Myrtle Gilbert, who is
currently backpacking in the Himalayas. His sister Waddles was more than happy to
entertain the gathered reporters. Claiming that Wrinkles was busy doing laundry, she
launched into a spirited performance of "Wub is a Many Splendored Ting." Hurrying away, a reporter retrieved a crumpled scrap of paper lying on the ground about 20 feet away. What appears to be a press release was never distributed by the Dopeycrat Press Office. While not offering a full accounting for Augie NotAFoster's extended absence, it does state that the candidate intends to participate in Tuesday's final Presidential Debate in St. Louis. Analysts will be watching to see if Augie can impact the campaign as his running mate's appearance did last week. Dopeycrat Campaign workers are apparently completely unaware that Augie NotAFoster is ready to re-join the presidential campaign.
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Propaganda courtesy of the Dopeycrat 2000 campaign.
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