DATELINE Damascus, MD (from The National Extorter)

VP Candidate's Private Life Questioned

Augie forced to defend mounting speculation

August 18, 2000 -- Two days after announcing that da Moose was his choice for VP candidate, Dopeycrat nominee Augie NAF found himself confronted by questions about Moose's preferences in his private life. 

The presidential candidate seemed unfazed by the controversy, reiterating his support of da Moose.  Late today, Augie held an impromtu press conference, stating "in no uncertain terms that Moose and I believe in equal opportunity and rights for everyone.   The Dopeycrat Party is a party of inclusion .. the more the merrier.   EVERYHOUND is welcome, regardless of which way you lean or whether you have your "stuff".  We are not colorblind, we love ALL colors.  We love girls.   We love guys.  WE LOVE.  We give wet, slurpy, slobbery, drooly kisses to all!!!"

Da Moose was not immediately available for comment.

Propaganda courtesy of the Dopeycrat 2000 campaign.