DATELINE Greenville, SC (from The New Bark Times)
Augie Takes Pro-Choice Stand
Bassets must be served
| August 31, 2000 -- Today Augie NAF continued building
the Dopeycrat platform, by taking a stand on choice. Before a small gathering of
basset hounds in a local Greenville park, the Dopeycrat presidential hopeful made a
stirring statement.
NO ONE should be entrusted to make those decisions for you ... not a fellow Dopeycrat, and certainly not a Bi-Ped. Food slaves everywhere must clearly understand their role: to cater to the Basset! To promptly and cheerfully translate YOUR desires into reality! To serve ... and serve ... and SERVE." As he finished the speach, the assembled throng of AHROOOing bassets broke into a chant, "SERVE US, SERVE US, SERVE US!!" Nearby, a pigeon-feeding vagrant was overheard commenting, "Why, don't that just beat all. Wonder what all them beagle hounds are barking at anyhow." |
"The
Dopeycrat Party is a PRO-CHOICE party. Yes, after much serious contemplation (much of
which was done in a horizontal position on HRH Holly Noel's green leather couch), I am
firmly convinced that PRO-CHOICE is definitely in the best interests of Everyhound. I
believe that Houndies everywhere should have the inalienable right to CHOOSE ... dry vs.
wet kibble; kibble vs. treats (kibble AND treats!); pig ears vs. chewies; a walk outside
vs. a nap indoors; down pillows vs. foam-filled; a recliner vs. a couch; a bed with bi-ped
snuggle companions vs. a bed for one's self --- these are all important and weighty issues
which I believe should be decided by Everyhound for him- or herself.
Propaganda courtesy of the Dopeycrat 2000 campaign.
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