DATELINE Bolivia, NC (from The Wilmington Morning Bark, Social Column)

Campaign Fundraising Kickoff a Royal Affair

Seafarer socialite fetes other princesses and local Dopeycrat supporters

libbi0904.jpg (8944 bytes)September 4, 2000 -- The estate of noted socialite Pwincess Libbi Hendricks (pictured) entertained a who's who of royal pawlitical supporters this past weekend as the Dopeycrat Party held its first major fundraiser.  The hostess Pwincess Libbi was radiant in her glittering  diamond necklace, with her betrothed Chef Zeke Spector at her side.   Chef Zeke has been traveling with the Dopeycrat candidate Augie NAF, positioning himself for appointment to presidential chef.

Also in attendance was HRH Holly Noel Christina, Gnoshie Czar and step-sister to the presidential candidate Augie NAF.  Her Highness, resplendent on her green leather couch, held court and answered reporters' questions most of the evening.  However when asked to comment on the Dopeycrat presidential nominee's anti-Green stance and its apparent conflict with her own preference for green leather, Her Highness did not respond.

Pwincess Juliet the Magnificent Kachman, made a dramatic appearance in her convertible.   As she clambered out of the car, she explained that her clueless brother Quincey had left Snuffleville for the party, but was believed to be well on his way towards New Jersey instead.

New Jersey royalty was represented by Woo VanKeuren, commoner step-brother to HRH Feyfey VanKeuren.  Woo was observed watering the perimeters of the party before unobtrusively disappearing into the kitchen for the evening.   HRH Feyfey was preoccupied with her upcoming royal birthday party and sent her regrets (i.e., Woo).

Dopeycrat VP Candidate Moose made an unexpected appearance towards the end of the evening.  A beaming Pwincess Libbi led him around the room, introducing him to all the Bolivia pawlitical luminaries. Once all had been sniffed, VP Candidate Moose was entreated to speak to the party faithful.  An obviously reluctant Moose finally climbed up onto the recliner, barked a couple of times to clear his throat, then proceeded to address the room saying, "Bwwjp CM. Cwzp Dlunp. Bwwjp hwmps. Ydqz jmpdv. Qwz ydqz hwmps."

The candidate's speech was interrupted many times with spontaneous ovations.   Attendees afterwards debated the real import of his remarks, some in awe of Moose's oratory skills and others feeling that it had been unqualified gibberish.

The evening was intended to raise badly needed capital for the under-financed Dopeycrat campaign.  A half-eaten rawhide and a slobbery tennis ball were reportedly discovered under the recliner and donated to the cause.

Propaganda courtesy of the Dopeycrat 2000 campaign.

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