Is da Moose "Under the Influence?"

VP Candidate Moose may very well be following the example of First Ladies Reagan and Clinton by consulting with an astrologer for guidance.  Reliable sources tell The National Extorter that Lafoot Rea (pictured), offbeat "asstologer" to the hounds has been providing psychic guidance to da Moose.  Lafoot is best known for his short-lived Sidekick Hounds Network local cable access show, which ran for exactly thirteen and a half minutes before it was shut down by the authorities.  Feeling that his first-of-its-kind show's format had been the victim of discrimination, Lafoot successfully fought and won a suit against the local cable access channel.  Since then he has been heavily promoting the National Association of Space Aliens and is lobbying to have his organization replace that other NASA at the national level.

The National Extorter has gotten exclusive rights to Lafoot Rea's Asstology Charts, originally puplished in his book "Asstology for Dummies."  According to the bookjacket's biography, his southern-style zodiac readings are inspired by his life achievements.  Lafoot Rea claims that he "can read the stars since all I do is sit and stare out in space."  He goes on to declare, "My first position with NASA would be to make sure all houndies have their asstological signs read."