Spotlight on Dan Arvizu

Future White House Counsel can expect heavy caseload

October 1, 2000 -- Blue Danube "Dan" Arvizu, famous litigator and currently AmBASSETor to Southern California, has declared supremely higher ambitions.  He has positioned himself to become White House Counsel if the Dopeycrat party wins the election in November.  However Arvizu has made it known that he aspires to a Supreme Court appointment before the conclusion of his time in Washington, and will subvert the constitutional process to become Chief Justice by Executive Order if necessary.

Political observers concede that Arvizu will have plenty of exposure as White House counsel, especially in light of the Dopeycrat VP candidate's lack of discretion in so many areas.

Often wearing his trademark cowboy hat, Arvizu is a gruff throw-back to law enforcers of the Wild Wild West, sporting his rough-and-tumble past as a badge of honor.  While he has never spoken of it, his gimpy gait may have been the result of a run-in with cattle rustlers in Wyoming.  He has an aw-shucks demeanor that is disarming, and putrefied breath that he uses to his advantage to foreshorten otherwise lengthy and contentious depositions.

A frequent guest on the television talk show circuit, Arvizu brags that he has never lost a criminal case.  He refuses to represent big business, instead taking the side of canine citizens against corporations and government, such as the high-profile case against Grrrr McKee.  Arvizu's Perry Mason-like ability to defend mendacious felons was featured on the long-running show 60 Dog Minutes, which airs on the Canine Broadcasting System every Sunday evening from 7:00 to 7:09pm ET.

On the surface, his views on political campaign contributions appear to be at odds with the Dopeycrat party's approach to fundraising.  Arvizu has long decried the practice of vested interest groups' support of politicians and has labeled it a form of bribery.  However he declines to explain his own Dopeycrat contribution and its connection with his ambition to become Chief Justice.

Arvizu relaxes by retrieving tennis balls or lying on his special heating pad at his Southern California residence when not litigating or self-aggrandizing.