Dopeycrats Focus on Debates

Because foreign policy has traditionally been a weakness for Dopeycrats, the Presidential candidate called upon his likely AmBASSETors to and from Canada (pictured at right) for their assistance.  Unfortunately Prince Oliver was unavailable, but Mooseketeer Ben enthusiastically provided the Dopeycrat candidate with badly needed foreign perspective on subjects as disparate as acid rain ("Not know"), NAFTA ("Not know"), OPEC ("Not know"), and imported hickory smoked rawhides ("Big like").  Dopeycrat advisors declared themselves satisfied with the diplomatic relations with Canada and said that they felt confident that Augie would be fully prepared for the debates despite the assistance provided by Mooseketeer Ben Magorel.

In a related story, Dopeycrat party spokesbasset Myrtle Gilbert revealed yesterday that a tape of the Dopeycrat presidential candidate practicing before the mirror had made its way to the Democratic party's campaign headquarters late last week.  She said that she had mailed it herself, hoping it would generate the same kind of publicity that the GOP tape had created earlier in the week.  Gilbert expressed disappointment that nothing about the incident had been reported in the press. 

When contacted by the Woofington Post, a volunteer confirmed that a tape had indeed been received at the Democratic party headquarters.  Instead of turning it over to the FBI, the tape was confiscated and deployed by a campaign worker to videotape Friday's Jerry Springer Spaniel Show.  Dopeycrats were outraged and demanded an investigation.  A Democratic spokesperson defended their action, explaining, "We looked at the tape.  It was just some stupid dog barking at his reflection in the mirror.  Give me a break!"