Biggest Scandal Yet!!!

October 9, 2000 -- Dopeycrat Presidential Candidate Augie NAF has been absent from the campaign circuit for weeks.  Most notable was his failure to show up at the Presidential Debate in Boston last week.  Political observers have been scratching themselves, pondering why Dopeycrat VP Candidate Moose is suddenly looking so much more Presidential than only a month ago.

The National Extorter has received an exclusive and explosive revelation from a Dopeycrat insider, who said that the presidential candidate has been spending an excessive amount of time at this brothel located in the South Carolina capital city of Columbia. 

This establishment has been run for years by a basset known only as the "Magnolia Madam".  Located in a run-down part of town, the dilapidated exterior of this former warehouse belies its extraordinarily plush interior.  This intrepid investigative reporter attemped to gain admittance but was summarily turned away at the doorway.

The National Extorter attempted to contact Dopeycrat Spokesbasset Myrtle Gilbert for comment.  We were informed by one assistant that she is unavailable as she is suffering from a sore throat and fatigue.  Yet another aide said that she is supposedly on holiday at her Black Sea residence recovering from a severe respiratory infection.  Somehow one gets the feeling that the Dopeycrats found these excuses in old newpapers.