It's Tweedledee and Tweedledum!

October 10, 2000 -- Today the Dopeycrat party announced the establishment of a temporary spokesbasset to replace Myrtle Gilbert, who is said to be recuperating at a spa in the Ural Mountains. 

Early in the campaign, Wrinkles Boulderguard Burlew (pictured, right with his sister Waddles at left) had expressed his desire to be Press Secretary.  He was believed to have been spending the intervening months readying himself for the responsibility once the Dopeycrats are in the White House.  So at today's Press Conference many found it odd that he was totally unaware of the requirements of the position.  He also appeared dumbfounded to learn that he would be required to speak with reporters every day.  In bewilderment, he inquired of his sister, "Where's the dirty laundry?  I'm supposed to be getting rid of the dirty laundry."   When asked to comment on the allegations of impropriety raised against Dopeycrat Presidential Candidate Augie NAF, Wrinkles shook himself off and wandered away, refusing to answer.

Also at the Press Conference was Little Darlin' Waddles Burlew, a disciple of da Moose and charter Mooseketeer, who has bid to become AmBASSETor to the United Nations.  She too seemed ill prepared for that significant responsibility.   Instead Waddles kept repeating, "Waddles worry.  Belly rub. Belly rub.   Worry worry.  Wub DaMoose.  Want happy.  Waddles worry.  Help Moose.  Wub Moose.  Belly rub.  DaMoose win.  Help Moose.  Belly rub.  Win win.  Wub Moose." 

After today's so-called Press Conference concluded, a reporter was overheard commenting, "Are we really going to have to endure this crap for the rest of the campaign?"  To which his colleague responded, "Gee, ya know, with all the incompetence in the Dopeycrat ranks, da Moose is looking better all the time.  Too bad he's not the one running for President!"