Da Moose Crashes Presidential Debate

October 12, 2000 -- Sitting in for the inexplicably absent Dopeycrat Presidential Candidate Augie Not-A-Foster, the party's second banana attended the Presidential Debate last night.  Dopeycrat VP Moose wore a tasteful presidential babushka topped with a garish chartreuse green chip clip, an extraordinary gimmick highly calculated to attract national attention.

The evening's roundtable setup did not favor the Dopeycrat, and Moose had to awkwardly balance his chin on the edge of the table for 90 minutes.  In addition, the agreed-to debate format was also disadvantageous, as the moderator failed to direct even a single question towards the Dopeycrat candidate. 

Despite these obstacles, the Dopeycrat candidate scored implausibly well afterwards among certain focus groups.  Many of those surveyed maintained that his contributions were far more profound than either of the major candidates.  And at times da Moose scored almost 100% among undecided and mentally muddled voters.

Naturally, Dopeycrat supporters were ecstatic.  While Dopeycrat Spokesbasset Myrtle Gilbert enjoys her houseboat vacation down the Volga River, Deputy Spokesbasset Wrinkles Burlew still focuses on laundry.  Reporters attempted to get an official statement from him, but were instead regaled with Waddles' rendition of "Wub Me Tender, Wub Me Do."

The crowd of reporters was significantly smaller than the previous night.