Front Page News - Dopeycrat Central

The Dopeycrats are unlike any other polly tickle party: unrealistic promises, scandal, intrigue, incompetence, dirty tricks.  Well, come to think of it, they really aren't all THAT different.  After an unbelievably dopey run for the White House in 2000, they're at it again in 2004.  There ought to be a law.

Dopeycrat 2004 Campaign

The Dopeycrat Campaign of 2004 is just now underway.  Come along for the ride ... if you dare.

bullet1-19-04 -- Dopeycrats Victorious; Long forgotten party wins single delegate in Iowa caucus
bullet1-20-04 -- Clara Fleebleflobber; Dopey delegate unmasked, sorta
bullet1-24-04 -- Dopeycrat Candidate Missing; Dopey supporters clueless
bullet1-29-04 -- Dopey Space Invaders; Dopeycrats wooing Martian voters
bullet2-04-04 -- Mars Strategy Doomed; Dopeycrat voter registration drive fizzles

 

Dopeycrat 2000 Campaign

Here's all the news that was news when it was new.  The Dopeycrat Campaign of 2000 was filled with intrigue and scandal.  Relive it here.  Click on the first news article and continue through the entire archive.  Guaranteed you'll feel a lot LESS dopey by the time you're done!

bullet8-5-00 -- Augie Announces Bid for Presidency; Bassets worldwide rally in support
bullet8-10-00 -- Support for Augie Builds; Augie is INDEED the doggie
bullet8-16-00 -- Dopeycrat Party Ticket Set; Augie announces da Moose will join the ticket as VP
bullet8-18-00 -- VP Candidate's Private Life Questioned; Augie forced to defend mounting speculation
bullet8-21-00 -- Anti-Counter Crusade Bribes Revealed; Dopeycrat Campaign Chairman expresses concern
bullet8-22-00 -- VP Candidate Responds to Bribery Charges; Party Faithful not worried
bullet8-24-00 -- Dopeycrats Attack Gore Tax Plan; Charge obedience tax relief does not benefit bassets
bullet8-28-00 -- Augie Unveils Dopeycrat Platform; Policy Analysts agree it has something for everyone
bullet8-30-00 -- Augie Lambastes Major Party Plans; Drugs, education and pigs ears targeted by Dopeycrats
bullet8-31-00 -- Augie Takes Pro-Choice Stand; Bassets must be served
bullet9-1-00 -- Dopeycrats Not Keen on Green; Special interest group accuses party of slander
bullet9-2-00 -- Augie NAF Campaign Strategists Huddle; Insiders describe turmoil within Dopeycrat ranks
bullet9-4-00 -- Campaign Fundraising Kickoff a Royal Affair; Seafarer socialite fetes other princesses and local Dopeycrat supporters
bullet9-6-00 -- Is da Moose "Under the Influence?"; Asstologer Lafoot Rea blamed for VP Candidate's odd behavior
bullet9-9-00 -- Behind the Battle for First Lady; Contrasting styles mark the squabble for candidate's affections
bullet9-10-00 -- Dopeycrats do Debates? VP Candidate Moose plans to debate Governor Bush on Tuesday
bullet9-11-00 -- Moose's Secret Life; Now there are pictures
bullet9-11-00 -- Bush Shuns Dopeycrat Debate; Is the GOP afraid to debate da Moose?
bullet9-12-00 -- Dopeycrat Ad MEANT to be "Subliminable"; But what does it really say?
bullet9-13-00 -- Augie Finally Comes Out; Dopeycrats may have solved rat puzzle
bullet9-15-00 -- EXCLUSIVE - THE MOOSE PHOTOS! They're scandalous and outrageous, and we've got 'em!!
bullet9-16-00 -- Augie Defends Running Mate - Yet Again; Claims photos are just Monkey Business
bullet9-17-00 -- Spotlight on Ethel Bostelman; Can the puppy welfare activist change Dopeycrat positions?
bullet9-19-00 -- Elvis Sighting at Illinois Waddle! Mooseketeer fails to endorse Dopeycrat VP Candidate
bullet9-21-00 -- Hidden 18 Minutes Could Be Revealed; The mystery of the Moose tapes may soon be solved
bullet9-23-00 -- Dopeycrats on Performance Enhancing Drugs; Da Moose takes aggressive position on Sydney
bullet9-24-00 -- Dopeycrat Fundraising Soiree in Absecon; The Rich and Fey Moose attend, and so do lots of others
bullet9-26-00 -- Spotlight on Miss Hennessy; The basset Barktha Stewart has a plan for world domination
bullet9-28-00 -- Looking for Basse Terre AmBASSETesse; Plaintive Personal plea pleads for political partner
bullet9-29-00 -- 60,000 Pound Basset Eats Murmansk; Also Fads, Shams, and more Monkey Business
bullet10-1-00 -- Spotlight on Blue Danube Arvizu; Future White House Counsel can expect heavy caseload
bullet10-2-00 -- Dopeycrats Focus on Debates; But why?  And how did a tape end up at Democratic campaign headquarters?
bullet10-3-00 -- Augie NAF No Show; Dopeycrat candidate conspicuously missing from first presidential debate
bullet10-5-00 -- Cheney and Lieberman No Shows? Dopeycrat VP candidate all alone tonight at debate site
bullet10-6-00 -- Letters to the Editor; Allegations lead to Drool Duel challenge
bullet10-09-00 -- Biggest Scandal Yet!!! Dopeycrat candidate visiting Magnolia Madam
bullet10-10-00 -- It's Tweedledee and Tweedledum! New Dopeycrat Spokesbasset holds first press conference
bullet10-11-00 -- The Playbasset Interview; Nick Wittenberg on margrets, bassetude and his magical whacker
bullet10-12-00 -- Da Moose Crashes Presidential Debate; Chip clip proves genius of Dopeycrat candidate
bullet10-13-00 -- Gore's Top Advisers Divided over Strategy; Will chip clip attract undecided Dopey voters?
bullet10-14-00 -- Dopeycrat Values are Important; Barney Berthelot holds forth on Today Show
bullet10-16-00 -- He's Baaaacck! But Press Release doesn't fully explain Augie's absence
bullet10-17-00 -- Dopeycrats Party in Mishgun; Society maven's on-the-ground report
bullet10-18-00 -- Chip Clips Dominate Debates; Dopeycrat candidate out of touch?
bullet10-19-00 -- Dopeycrat Spokesbasset is Nuts! Campaign incompetence destroys what combat couldn't
bullet10-21-00 -- Anti-Dopeycrat Ad Makes Headlines; Campaign turns negative, but who is behind it?
bullet10-24-00 -- Dopeycrats to Revamp Secret Service; Agents will no longer blend into the crowd
bullet10-26-00 -- Memphis Pig on the Offensive; Dopeycrat volunteer's real identity revealed
bullet10-29-00 -- London Bridge isn't Falling Down; But Dopeycrat infestation is evidence the neighborhood is really going downhill
bullet10-30-00 -- Monumental Plans; A Pwincess-eye view of Washington
bullet10-31-00 -- Dopeycrat Candidate Shocker; Sordid tale of venison, rabbit and female impersonators
bullet11-02-00 -- Dopeycrat's Scandal Avoidance Strategy; Weak minds and even weaker da fence
bullet11-03-00 -- Unspeakable Dopeycrat Ad; Propaganda Master has gone too far
bullet11-05-00 -- Foreign Money buys Dopeycrat Influence; Oddball cult of the Moosies uncovered
bullet11-06-00 -- Dopeycrats Rally Party Faithful; Texas gathering epitomizes campaign success
bullet11-10-00 -- Dopeycrats Declare Victory!   Party faithful tire of waiting for others to decide