Dopeycrat Polly Tickle News

Front Page News - Dopeycrat Central

The Dopeycrats are unlike any other polly tickle party: unrealistic promises, scandal, intrigue, incompetence, dirty tricks. Well, come to think of it, they really aren't all THAT different. After an unbelievably dopey run for the White House in 2000, they're at it again in 2004. There ought to be a law.

Dopeycrat 2004 Campaign

The Dopeycrat Campaign of 2004 is just now underway. Come along for the ride ... if you dare.

	1-19-04 -- Dopeycrats Victorious; Long forgotten party wins single delegate in Iowa caucus
	1-20-04 -- Clara Fleebleflobber; Dopey delegate unmasked, sorta
	1-24-04 -- Dopeycrat Candidate Missing; Dopey supporters clueless
	1-29-04 -- Dopey Space Invaders; Dopeycrats wooing Martian voters
	2-04-04 -- Mars Strategy Doomed; Dopeycrat voter registration drive fizzles

Dopeycrat 2000 Campaign

Here's all the news that was news when it was new. The Dopeycrat Campaign of 2000 was filled with intrigue and scandal. Relive it here. Click on the first news article and continue through the entire archive. Guaranteed you'll feel a lot LESS dopey by the time you're done!

	8-5-00 -- Augie Announces Bid for Presidency; Bassets worldwide rally in support
	8-10-00 -- Support for Augie Builds; Augie is INDEED the doggie
	8-16-00 -- Dopeycrat Party Ticket Set; Augie announces da Moose will join the ticket as VP
	8-18-00 -- VP Candidate's Private Life Questioned; Augie forced to defend mounting speculation
	8-21-00 -- Anti-Counter Crusade Bribes Revealed; Dopeycrat Campaign Chairman expresses concern
	8-22-00 -- VP Candidate Responds to Bribery Charges; Party Faithful not worried
	8-24-00 -- Dopeycrats Attack Gore Tax Plan; Charge obedience tax relief does not benefit bassets
	8-28-00 -- Augie Unveils Dopeycrat Platform; Policy Analysts agree it has something for everyone
	8-30-00 -- Augie Lambastes Major Party Plans; Drugs, education and pigs ears targeted by Dopeycrats
	8-31-00 -- Augie Takes Pro-Choice Stand; Bassets must be served
	9-1-00 -- Dopeycrats Not Keen on Green; Special interest group accuses party of slander
	9-2-00 -- Augie NAF Campaign Strategists Huddle; Insiders describe turmoil within Dopeycrat ranks
	9-4-00 -- Campaign Fundraising Kickoff a Royal Affair; Seafarer socialite fetes other princesses and local Dopeycrat supporters
	9-6-00 -- Is da Moose "Under the Influence?"; Asstologer Lafoot Rea blamed for VP Candidate's odd behavior
	9-9-00 -- Behind the Battle for First Lady; Contrasting styles mark the squabble for candidate's affections
	9-10-00 -- Dopeycrats do Debates? VP Candidate Moose plans to debate Governor Bush on Tuesday
	9-11-00 -- Moose's Secret Life; Now there are pictures
	9-11-00 -- Bush Shuns Dopeycrat Debate; Is the GOP afraid to debate da Moose?
	9-12-00 -- Dopeycrat Ad MEANT to be "Subliminable"; But what does it really say?
	9-13-00 -- Augie Finally Comes Out; Dopeycrats may have solved rat puzzle
	9-15-00 -- EXCLUSIVE - THE MOOSE PHOTOS! They're scandalous and outrageous, and we've got 'em!!
	9-16-00 -- Augie Defends Running Mate - Yet Again; Claims photos are just Monkey Business
	9-17-00 -- Spotlight on Ethel Bostelman; Can the puppy welfare activist change Dopeycrat positions?
	9-19-00 -- Elvis Sighting at Illinois Waddle! Mooseketeer fails to endorse Dopeycrat VP Candidate
	9-21-00 -- Hidden 18 Minutes Could Be Revealed; The mystery of the Moose tapes may soon be solved
	9-23-00 -- Dopeycrats on Performance Enhancing Drugs; Da Moose takes aggressive position on Sydney
	9-24-00 -- Dopeycrat Fundraising Soiree in Absecon; The Rich and Fey Moose attend, and so do lots of others
	9-26-00 -- Spotlight on Miss Hennessy; The basset Barktha Stewart has a plan for world domination
	9-28-00 -- Looking for Basse Terre AmBASSETesse; Plaintive Personal plea pleads for political partner
	9-29-00 -- 60,000 Pound Basset Eats Murmansk; Also Fads, Shams, and more Monkey Business
	10-1-00 -- Spotlight on Blue Danube Arvizu; Future White House Counsel can expect heavy caseload
	10-2-00 -- Dopeycrats Focus on Debates; But why? And how did a tape end up at Democratic campaign headquarters?
	10-3-00 -- Augie NAF No Show; Dopeycrat candidate conspicuously missing from first presidential debate
	10-5-00 -- Cheney and Lieberman No Shows? Dopeycrat VP candidate all alone tonight at debate site
	10-6-00 -- Letters to the Editor; Allegations lead to Drool Duel challenge
	10-09-00 -- Biggest Scandal Yet!!! Dopeycrat candidate visiting Magnolia Madam
	10-10-00 -- It's Tweedledee and Tweedledum! New Dopeycrat Spokesbasset holds first press conference
	10-11-00 -- The Playbasset Interview; Nick Wittenberg on margrets, bassetude and his magical whacker
	10-12-00 -- Da Moose Crashes Presidential Debate; Chip clip proves genius of Dopeycrat candidate
	10-13-00 -- Gore's Top Advisers Divided over Strategy; Will chip clip attract undecided Dopey voters?
	10-14-00 -- Dopeycrat Values are Important; Barney Berthelot holds forth on Today Show
	10-16-00 -- He's Baaaacck! But Press Release doesn't fully explain Augie's absence
	10-17-00 -- Dopeycrats Party in Mishgun; Society maven's on-the-ground report
	10-18-00 -- Chip Clips Dominate Debates; Dopeycrat candidate out of touch?
	10-19-00 -- Dopeycrat Spokesbasset is Nuts! Campaign incompetence destroys what combat couldn't
	10-21-00 -- Anti-Dopeycrat Ad Makes Headlines; Campaign turns negative, but who is behind it?
	10-24-00 -- Dopeycrats to Revamp Secret Service; Agents will no longer blend into the crowd
	10-26-00 -- Memphis Pig on the Offensive; Dopeycrat volunteer's real identity revealed
	10-29-00 -- London Bridge isn't Falling Down; But Dopeycrat infestation is evidence the neighborhood is really going downhill
	10-30-00 -- Monumental Plans; A Pwincess-eye view of Washington
	10-31-00 -- Dopeycrat Candidate Shocker; Sordid tale of venison, rabbit and female impersonators
	11-02-00 -- Dopeycrat's Scandal Avoidance Strategy; Weak minds and even weaker da fence
	11-03-00 -- Unspeakable Dopeycrat Ad; Propaganda Master has gone too far
	11-05-00 -- Foreign Money buys Dopeycrat Influence; Oddball cult of the Moosies uncovered
	11-06-00 -- Dopeycrats Rally Party Faithful; Texas gathering epitomizes campaign success
	11-10-00 -- Dopeycrats Declare Victory! Party faithful tire of waiting for others to decide